Epitome of Simplicity

Paulo Coelho

2008-04-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

I'm addicted to this guy: Paulo Coelho

I've read most of his books and yes....I hate to admit this but I cried each time I read his books. Dang...so much for being a wuss...too emotional seh!
But seriously, he writes good stuff. I read "A thousand splendid suns" by khaleed hosseini.....I cried EVEN MORE!

I'm one who couldn't bear seeing people's suffering especially, the weak and the disabled. Anything that concern children,women,elderly people...I'll cry...
The power of words...

Paulo Coelho writes good stuff and what better way to start things off other than reading his book, the ever famous book, "The Alchemist." There are certai complexity in certain chapters but if you read on, you'll be amazed! His short stories are the best especially his short story book entitled "Like the flowing river", truly inspiring!

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”

"I think that perhaps we always fall in love the very first time we see the man of our dreams, even though, at the time, reason may be telling otherwise, and we may fight against that instinct, hoping against hope that we won't win, until there comes a point when we allow ourselves to be vanquished by our feelings...”

”Love is looking at the same mountains from different angles.”

“Every day, God gives us, as well as the sun, a moment when it is possible to change anything that is causing us unhappiness. The magic moment is the moment when a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ can change our whole existence. Every day, we try to pretend that we do not see that moment, this it does not exit, that today is the same as yesterday and that tomorrow will be the same too. However, anyone who pays close attention to his day will discover the magic moment. It might be hidden in the instant that we put the key in the door in the morning, in the moment of silence after supper, in the thousand and one things that appear to us to be the same. This moment exists, a moment in which all the strenght of the stars flows through us and allows us to perform miracles.” Coelho By the River Piedra I sat down and wept

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.

There is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth.

"...for her, every day was the same, and when each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises."

Every man has a feminine side, and every woman a masculine side. It is important to use discipline with intuition, and to use intuition with objectivity.

Ecod (it's been a long time since I last said this,LOL!)

Exhausted

2008-04-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

It's a tormentous period for me..ish...really that bad?Erm I guess so!

Seriously, I don't even know where I'm heading to right now. My mind is so fixated on the idea that I'm leaving the company. I have no mood to do the things which I've always loved doing. I used to be very "semangat" (passionate) about my work and I've been dubbed a workoholic.I was at the pinnacle, top of the world and I love my job.

There are times when "my system" were tested but knowing me, I took it as part and parcel of life. The truth is, I guess I'm naive at times (or most of the times)
It comes to the point where others took advantage of me (work wise!), I was just too nice to almost everyone and it's hard for me to say "NO!"
But soon I realised, I cared so much for others but do they care about what I do, my feelings? It's an ugly world, a dog-eat-dog world and reality check, it stays this way whether I like it or not.

Ooo...digress a bit ah!
Finally, I've just installed the new flashplayer and I get to surf my soccernet webpage with ease......
I don't subscribe to the sports channel because mum said it's a waste of money (eyes rolling) so to get my updates,I log on to soccernet.com to get the updates and they do update you on the scoreline as the match is being played. Besides, it keeps me updated of who's who, who's being sold, who's being knocked out. Otherwise, atuk will update me on the matches or scorelines and he normally exaggerates when it comes to Manchester United matches (devils fan mah!)

Ok, where was I?

Yes, it's a dog eat dog world out there, the survival of the fittest! I no longer see the spark, the light is getting dimmer, there's no beacon of light paving its way for me to improve. I have the chance to but too many things seems to be holding me back. I'm just not happy anymore. I need to seek my own happiness, it needs to be pursued.

Besides facing personal problems within the family, other reasons for me leaving the company is because: I'm not happy. I'm angry say half the time but I become a different person once I see my children coming to class. The hugs, cuddles and kisses brightens up my day no matter how crazy they can be at times. As I learn to know more about my children, they are also learning more about me.

My colleagues used to tell me that, "Oh Ezan, one of the craziest and funniest (not to mention lame as well!) teacher we have in school." Now that they have stop calling me that because I'm quitting, the children are calling me that. Bella kept telling her mates that "Oh, Ms Ezan you're so funny. You're just so funny. You always make me laugh and you make everyone laugh!"

Now, what does that indicate? Yes....my children are happy with me. They are happy with what I do in school and they are absolutely grateful and content. Yes, some may grudge whenever I gave them the "don't mess with me look" but at the end of the day, they'll come and embrace, thanking me for the day in school. Once they're gone, I'm a sad goon once again.

Once I leave the school, I'm a happy person once again because I get to meet Fazli. We have been meeting everyday for the past 2 weeks and yes, some of my colleagues have expressed their concern. The thing is, we just spent a good one hour or two with one another since we are staying quite close to one another. Well, say what you want to say, we're doing nothing wrong. We do have our separate moments whereby he'll be at home taking care of his dad and I'll be doing my own things such as going jogging, hitting around, solitary shopping (ceh ceh!).

So, we do give space to one another.
But lately, I've been complaining to him that I feel that I'm getting too lazy He told me I'm overworked and I'm super exhausted. Maybe I am...I'm not sure. Speaking of which, I have yet to update my lesson plan and my unit of enquiry. Arrrggghhh...I'm feeling grouchy. I'm so sick and tired of everything!

Your arse is in my hands

2008-04-26T00:36:00.000-07:00

Yes........FINALLY....I WON!

One must be thinking, what the heck is she talking about.
Sorry,I was just being random! (indirectly pin-pointing it towards Fazli!)

I thought I had fits (laughing fits) to be exact. Sorry Faz, you had to be my punching bag, oh well you asked for it. This bugger of mine can't seem to keep his hands in his pockets. I was attacked left, right,center, back....wah piang eh..."boleh naik sawan "

I couldn't sleep on Thursday because of him...hmph........

Friday was worst but I did not surrender. I had to stoop to conquer and yes...it worked!
After fetching me from work, we decided to have early-dinner. He was not really full

The saga did not end there. It was worst in the bus with all the ah-peks, uncles and pakcik2 staring at me as I squirm and wriggle my way out from his arms. Thank God, by the time we were at the library, he paused his nonsense because we were in the children's section. He was acting so grouchy because of the virus thus I took this chance to spent some quality time alone at the far end of the corner as I search for my children's books.

Once done, the saga continues. I'm telling you, never mess with a PTI "physical training instructor" or an ex-PTI for that matter, you never know the things he could do to you in public. I've had my fair share of embarrasing moments and I believed there's more to come (masyallah...help me!)

It came to the point where he tested my patience and that's it, I've had it. I just gave him the cold shoulder. But hearing his voice and looking at his sad,looking puppy eyes, I couldn't bear to give him the cold treatment throughout, thus I gave him another chance. Going back was nice because he had to rush home to get to JB (alhamdulillah,SAVED!)

But, I was wrong. We decided to take the train and there were loads of "baiya(s) in the train and he went on with his antics (masyallah!). I kept cool and entertain him until "next stop: Choa Chu Kang!"

The minute he got up, my hand slapped his arse......REAL HARD but I did not think it was hard enough. Woah.....you should have seen sayang's face...bright red....LOL

I couldn't stop laughing my arse off and the baiyas were eyeing us like vultures, wondering what the heck is going on. A Chinese couple was staring at us and they were giggling. Sayang just froze and he was swearing under his breath (Hahahaha!)

5 minutes later,
SMS message

Fazli: You wait...you just wait!
Ezan: Hehehe...nice arse!
Fazli: YOU JUST WAIT!

Guess what....I slept soundly like a baby. As for him, he slept at 5am...hehehehe!
I just got paid...half-pay and I spent 60 bucks liao...goodness...impulse buying...no!
I did not get to buy my stuff,it's been a while since I went shopping. Previous paychecks went mostly to Mum,my brother,my transportation,children's stuff, Grandad....so I had little for myself.

This time, I decided to reward myself a little....bought a sport bra,jersey and body shop stuff! No more buys because it's back to bills!!

*baiyas - Bangla

Sweet liberty

2008-04-24T09:32:00.000-07:00

6.5 weeks and counting...sweet,sweet liberation

I'm counting down...

Anyway, I'm feeling restless and listless for the past few days. I need a "renaissance period" (like say what?)

Work's great...erm..not really, just OK-LAH!

How do I make you happy?

The thing about being with someone, sometimes you just have to ask yourself, am I doing enough, am I doing the right thing?
Mind you, these questions never existed until you know lah hah!

Alright, what's there to be afraid. Everyone knows I'm with him so yes, I'm referring to my boyfriend Fazli. He's a nice chap,he truly cares about my feelings, passionate about lots of things,responsible, sweet and he has got good rapport with people he's in contact with.

Sometimes, I wonder whether the situation is too overwhelming for him, say in situation where he meets nearly half of my family members (like both from mum and dad's side, yikes!) I'll freak out if I was in his shoes but I have the upmost respect for him because he opens up easily and he'll just go with the flow. I can sense he's nervous about it but he doesn't show it. He fits in easily and thus, "I love you for that!"

I do not want to force him into doing things because I'm afraid it gets too much for him but he said, he's "OK" with everything...hmmm.....he's sincere about it so alhamdulillah !

Anyway, we've been meeting quite often, with him fetching me from work and tution.We're happy, always happy, always smiling (this doesn't stops, it comes to the point where I feel that I've gone senile or something when I caught myself smiling,LOL!) but I can sense that something's amiss. I just couldn't figure out what it is!

One thing that I wish my dear Fazli could work out on, is his familial ties with his family.

Fazli knows how much I complained about my family at times.
He's aware that my mum is not someone to be messed with and he often listens to my complaints and rants about how she wants things her way and yadaaa...yadaaa...yadaaaa... but he's always there to support me, always ready to give me advice, I truly appreciate that.

BUT,

What about you sayang?I want you to be happy too...with your family. I feel bad at times and I did tell him this (like whenever he spent his time with me and not with his family. I told him that there should be a two-way traffic) and I apologize too! I truly appreciate his time (seriously....) for me but I want you to be happy. I know that you're happy whenever you are with me but I hope you could build the same rapport you had with me and my family together with yours. I would love to help but knowing me, the ever so "slow and slenger" Ezan, I tend to be blur in things like this because I never thought that my ideas is good enough. Ah...that's my weakness...low self-confidence!

With Fazli around, hmm...alhamdulillah, I did manage to pick myself up and stop being some "kunniang chic." I may not appear so but ooops...I do admit, there are times when I can be that "kunniang" and it just bugs the "sh**" out of me and even sayang for that matter.

Not many remembers Ezan as the affectionate homosapien on Earth (well except towards my little darlings in school, you know how much I love my "little darlings" in school) but yes....by nature I am. Faz has no qualms of being very affectionate towards me,er....as for me, I can be a little reserved at times. But for this...........I just have to say it (in case you're reading it dear)

I love you Fazli, whole-heartedly.......

(OK Ruthie, you will laugh your hearts out when you read this or anyone for that matter BUT, YES....I love this guy.....very much!)

Anyway, you did not sound good on the phone just now. I know I may not be the most wise person on earth or decision-maker for that matter and it pisses you off kan kan kan, cos it pisses me off too. I'm trying my best. It's just that, I do not want to have nitty-gritty stuff to get into our way and that leads to silence......so sayang, so sorry about er.....I don't know what I've done but I just wanted to say sorry.

By the way, you had your "fun" today (hmmph...not fair ah!), my turn will come soon.

"Hari ini hari you,takper..takper...hari esok...it's mine so you better watch your arse.....LOL"

Drive

2008-04-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

I had a great day with brown-eyed cutie today although it was short. It's all my fault!
I told him I could settle all my chores by Asar prayers but I did not. We eventually settled everything by 5.15pm. He was early though and I was still in the shower. What to do, I had to complete all the chores by myself...3 sets of laundry...woah.....not to mention all the sweeping and mopping. I woke up late,dang.....

Syg arrived at 4.35pm, sitting and waiting patiently outside. Kiki was being such a nuisance to me, he did not want to open the door (claimed he was tired, bugger!) so I had to wrap myself like some old grandmother and pass him the car key.

We had to run some errands too. So sorry for wasting too much time....
But thankfully, he did not mind. At least, we went to interesting places which I have never been before. It was the best day of my life. Watching him drive, singing his heart out to some jiwang music (hai...too much influence from Baba!), seeing him acting all grouchy like some "makcik" just makes my heart go "hai..........." (weird..hahaha!) I guess I love him too much!

I guess this is the first time I've ever felt such strong feelings for someone. At first, I thought it was just mere infatuation but as time goes by, we learnt to accept our flaws and it is through such flaws that makes love grow fonder...hehehe

I love Jurong Hill. Changi Coast Rd simply reminds me of a scene from "Mukhsin". It was so nice and perfect, quiet, calm and ehem2 romantic. We wish we could stay there long but there were police on patrol, so we had to make a move. Yishun dam was another chillout place,perfect for BBQ: a nice treat for the family. The ambience was great!

We did not eat much though because he was too full and I felt bloated because of my menstrual cramps. We had roti john and baby kailan...yum yum. Syg said it's a very bad combination but ehem ehem...who went to eat up my kailan,tehehe...kidding2.

Jurong Hill - "Epitome of sweet yayness"
Cool ambience, fresh air, cool, breezy air and 20 minutes of pure giggles, tickles and punches. Hahaha......

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
i love peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved
So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I love you...till our next road trip to nowhere (can't wait!)

Glory days over...mine's not!

2008-04-18T23:46:00.001-07:00

"Glory glory Man-United"

10,000 decibels(did I get that right?) affected, ruined,gone..........

As much as I hate to hear those words and cheers from my arch rivals, nothing can be done, I guess they're going to clinch the title.

Arsenal have had their worst 12 weeks of boo-boo(s) this season. After losing to the devils 2-1, they can bid final goodbye(s) to both the Premier and Champions League. They claimed they were not inferior to any teams..oh bother!

A win against Reading will at least boost the confidence and self-esteem of any breathing gunner out there...I suppose (we're all hibernating now!)

I'm having cramps....hate it!
I'm doing my household chores....ALONE

nEWS FLASH: Kiki's going to serve this nation of ours officially on 6th June 08, sorry couldn't be there for you bro....make sure you have plenty of dry laundry (teheee!)

It's a melancholic gay feeling that I had (fancy coming up with such thoughtless expression...am I?)

I'm going to miss this bugger of mine but oh well, at least I have another "bugger" with me (kidding2 syg!)

Back to chores...

Can't wait to see you later "brown-eyed cutie", we have the car.....teeheeee!

Listless, my poor gunners

2008-04-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling rather listless these days.....
Suddenly, I feel so-like-Baba!

I normally sleep late but lately, I have been sleeping at 9pm and waking up at 11pm or 12am feeling groggy and agitated. Work's not done, bag's not packed,shucks......

Anyway,I'm counting down, 8 weeks left and I'm looking forward to the day where I'll be able to walk away free without having any guilty conscience and my heads up high, telling myself that,"I have indeed made the right decision."

Anyway, each time I'm moving to something new, there's always a couple of other setbacks that comes along the way. Not many of them turns out ugly, this is just one of the rare occassion that keeps me on my toes and it "pinches" me. (why do I care so much, do they care...no right...so?)

Anyway,as I was saying, there is a newbie at my workplace,she's super cool. She's 27 but she doesn't look 27,very spunky,bubbly and has a cheerful personality. She's been working as an electrical engineer for almost 2 years and decided to switch lanes because she was sick of deskbound jobs. She came into this line with no first-hand experience with children but for a rookie, she's not bad. It kinda reminds me of myself when I was a newbie (only I was blurer...duh!)

I got to know her a little bit more and she's super cool. Oh, did I mentioned, she's also very rugged. I did not know that she's a bike-fanatic, talks incessantly about motor gp,motorcross racing and whatever not (Faz, you have to constantly update me ok so I won't get lost!).
I got to know she plays soccer before and rugby, how cool is that!

When she speaks about motorbikes, she kinda reminds me the female version of Faz but of course,my darling always adds in some additional spices to the conversation by adding in sound effects, LOL......

She was shocked that I am quitting but...what to do,life goes on. I wish her the best of luck though...cool people always does,LOL

Anyway, there are so many things happening at the same time, I'm just taking my time and make sure that I paid special attention to each and every one of them but of course, knowing me (the procrastinator), I often caught myself in a whirpool,hai~

Arsenal lost to Man-u. Wenger cited "ladyluck" was not on their side however he's obliged to keep his gunners intact if they find the "right price for one experienced player", hai~

Speaking of soccer, I feel so sorry for the team. Imagine playing with only 7 running men on the field against a full squad. Goodness.....players "buih" , what's new right? Anyway, they've got regular players so I don't know,they have to come up with a strategy or something to keep the team together.

First thing first, knowing your own players well. Trust me, back in my hockey days we had this major problem too. How did we tackle it?We tried so many things but it backfired until we decided to switch to "buddy system." Instead of having the team captain or vice-cap doing mass messages to the team which often creates misery to the former, we created a buddy system. Each regular player is "attached and responsible" for her buddy. However,point to note, the captain/vice-captain must really know their regulars and from there, they pair each regular up with players who often have problems turning up for trainings or games. These regulars will often remind their buddy almost about everything. It sounds pretty sucky right? It's like having someone breathing down your neck and you feel like shoving her away but trust me, it helps.

Not only do you remind one another about trainings,games and stuff, you get to know the person a little better too. In my team's system, all the defenders come together, the midfield and the forwards each have their own buddy within their group. My buddy was Aslin Harminah and she is one super-cool buddy. I'm playing left and she's the stopper so we did learnt from one another.I remembered clearly that she had problems attending training at times due to classes because she was sitting for the A levels. Nevertheless, I tried to keep her on track and it works. She does it to me too and it gets ever "cooler" when we call ourselves "eh buddy...amaciam?" instead of names.

It may sound absurd and childish considering the fact that we are adults but hey, it's worth trying. It works for us!We had a strong team's camaraderie and although we were not champions, we played like champions and that is what matters. We had great rapport and at the end of the day, we were satisfied.Dang..........I miss hockey!

Right side...strong side...left side...strong side....tessyekur adderim (LOL...)

So, I don't know maybe Akim or Rahman could try this method if they want to have regulars in their team.

Back to work...oh bother....

To my brown-eyed cutie, finish your tutorials oteh...miss you!

Tummy

2008-04-12T00:33:00.000-07:00

This tummy of mine have to go...uuuurrggghhh...bloordy irritating.
Irritating bugger......

I've been jogging (oh...have I?)

As a matter of fact...yes!
I've been very "semangat" ever since the new shoes and sports bra came into my life (lol!)
Faz prefers to run in the afternoon but I prefer to run at night. I don't mean to sound lame but
I told him yesterday, after our run that, perharps my oxygen level deteriorates in the afternoon (crap!)

They said, it is better to jog in the morning or afternoon, you'll burn more calories. I can't deny that fact but I can't....like totally. One more thing, I can only run when I'm really, really stress.Yesterday's run was a big boo-boo....calf muscles were a little tight. Faz said I looked really tired!
Well, I had my run on Wednesday too so I guess, I did not rest well. I've been sleeping rather late these days so major bummer for me. The run on Wednesday wasn't that bad. I was really getting on the momentum. Friday's run was a big boo-boo especially for him because he really wanted to jog till Bukit Gombak but I "pancit" halfway through,sorry..........

We'll try again this Monday and sorry sayang, I really can't jog in the afternoon. I'm a night-person. So, we gladly plan our jogging schedule which is going to be 3 times a week,woah.....but nothing is impossible kan kan kan?

Monday - I'll "ciaoz" at 4.15pm, go home, eat,rest and I'll start my jog straight after maghrib prayers.

Tuesday - Tution at 5pm, hoping to end by 6pm and complete my work.

Wednesday - Tution at 4.30pm, hoping to end by 5.45pm, rush home and meet him after maghrib for our run.

Thursday - Tution at 5.30pm, hoping to end by 7pm.

Friday- TGIF...jogging at ..........?

Saturday- Tution at 9am, hoping to end by 10.30am

Sunday - Tution at 9am, hoping to end by 10 am so I could catch some action while he's at the pitch during halftime (I doubt I could!)

So yes...this is my life.......as told by Ginger (lol!)

P/S: I'm itching to play hockey.....yes...desperately....but how...no time!
I'm so fickle-minded...dang....played soccer for a while and I suddenly realised that maybe I'm not good at it. I'm so used to hockey and I'm very comfortable with it. But to get back to hockey is no easy task, it'll take me say 1 year to get back to basics and my defending skills. All the jabbing, the sweeping, ball clearance...dang....

I miss hockey...period

Random

2008-04-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

Opportunity cost: yes, life has always been about opportunity cost.
This term gives me goosebumps at times, points of confusion although it is not meant to be that way,technically.

I have 2 months to decide, should I pursue my degree?Should I?We do not forsake education,at any cost.But, in my case,dang...it's hard!

The opportunity cost of me pursuing my degree is actually saving up all the money for further usage. But isn't that contradictory? I can't deny the fact that I am a walking contradiction at times, or should I say most of the time?

I'm trying to save up. I'm trying to upgrade myself further.I'm trying my level best to seize any golden opportunity that comes along my way.

In any case, what I need is a financial planner. I can't believe I'm talking about engaging a financial planner.Geez......

Anyway,I'm taking on a second job as a tutor (5 times a week,phew!)
Besides my tight weekday schedule, I try to squeeze 1-1.5hrs of tution time into my schedule. 3 on weekdays as well as Saturday,Sundays!

Mom thinks I'm insane!

I'm counting down : 8 more weeks to go......

Conformity

2008-04-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

I've always felt that each and everyone of us in this world has a unique innate quality that is waiting to embrace and seize any opportunities that comes along the way. I'm sorry to say this but despite being in a cosmopolitan democratic country, sometimes I feel that conformity is just one piece of crap (sorry!)

No offence though but my judgement and grievances is just a personal random attack.

I've always been a firm believer of living life simplistically with the simplest essence in life. Additional spices to the wonders of life is a bonus and, should we have the means to seize it, why not? However, let me make it clear. No one is born the same, we are all different,unique individuals, trust me! (Howard Gardner, Multiple Intelligence)

I have my strength and weakness,something which others do not possesss.I daresay I am unique in my own way. I am blur in my own way, I am stubborn in my own way, I am crazy in one way or another and this is me, you have to accept my flaws because I am not perfect afterall. Nevertheless, God gives me brains and the innate ability to judge for myself, I am the living,walking, blurest person on earth but that does not make me feel inferior one bit. I do my work, results were produced, credits were given to me when it is due, what more can I ask for?

It's really upsetting when comparison are made between people. Do not be too quick to judge, to me , healthy competition is encouraged but the moment you are being compared and being asked to be like someone which you are not.......that's really sad!

I may be full of smiles (I do have my ups and downs at times!) but deep inside, I feel hurt. It comes to the point where I have to justify to people and make it known to them that this is me, I am what I am whether you like it or not. Yes, I embrace changes, I do not believe in stagnant situation which might eventually leads to further regression in life. I accept changes but it's a matter of time when I have to say,"stop, this is me,you just have to accept it!"

Yes, life examples are good for the soul. But....to what extent?It feels so sad at times and sometimes I feel like running away and never come back.

Too many Ds

2008-03-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

Ubber gibberish

It's really depressing to see that there are some people in this world who mock and gloat at the downfall of others. It's sad when you do not give 101% in everything that you do. It's sad when your passion in doing something for the enlightment of others isn't there anymore.It's sad when you have to stoop to conquer. Where is the beacon of light?

There are too many Ds...too many downfalls, too much depressing moments, too much of disparity amongst your loved ones. It's demoralizing!

Where is my diagnosis, where is my determination and where is my desires?

Only God knows!

Simplicity

2008-03-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yes...how can I forget?

22nd March 2008 - I totally forgot all about it.

An added touch of simplicity into my life...indeed.........

An evening of apples, grapes, corntos, water,water and more water and not forgetting ehem....ehem....snuggles...snuggles (details not included!)

I doubt someone's reading this but it's worth the bite so, I'm going to say it whether you like it or not,hehe!

I love you...for your "kunniang-ness" (LOL!)

My day as a keeper

2008-03-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

The truth hurts...badly.
Life gets really mundane and miserable when you have to lie to do the things you want to do. I feel so restricted, so helpless, so grouchy...yes grouchy is the right word.

I am not getting any younger and there are plenty of things that is in my wishlist. I guess everyone should know by now that I've always wanted to be part of the sporting culture...I guess everyone does except for mum. No, let me correct that statement. She knows but she's restricting me from it, it sounds as if I have a certain amount of quota as to what I can/cannot do.

It's darn **cked up....pardon my language!

But as usual,I did things beyond my means despite the restrictions.

Year 2000 :I was banned from street soccer when we got to the finals BUT I told myself,"If I don't do it now, when will it be? I was turning into a rebel with a cause....to win!" And yes....I went behind my mom's back and because of all the distractions, we only got third but it was an achievement and definitely something which I will remember for the rest of my whole entire life

Year 2003: I joined hockey...behind my mum's back yet.........AGAIN! I survived 2.5 years of naggings...yes...worth it? Yes......I had the chance to be part of the school team and play during the A division.

Year 2008: I joined Sporting Westlake in a Futsal tournament....as a keeper.
I am just a mediocre but the ladies were a fine bunch,they were really encouraging and motivating. I stopped worrying about my problems and continue to play. It was a maiden experience for me as a keeper...haha...me keeper...butter fingers during my netball days in primary school......lol....dude....I did quite a plenty of saves...good hard ones that made my right hand hurts like crazy ,however I wasn't at my best. But, negativity doesn't do good any good for the soul,I tried,I did my level best,that's all that matter!

I had a slight bump in the cheek and on my lips but darn........it felt good. This is soccer...my passion...I was in my own turf where there was no "Mum" to stop me. However, I felt guilty and trust me,it's not a nice feeling but I had to play smart with her...I had to....I had no choice!

Can't wait to get a new pair of boots (just in case) and a new pair of running shoes...I can't wait to start running again. I am still contemplating about turf shoes though, I doubt I'll play hockey again...we'll see where it goes!

And yes...tights,shorts,sport bras( I am surviving on one,cannot make it seh!)

It was a great day for me at Kembangan. Pitch was pretty wet and muddy...felt like a mudskipper...eh no...mudkeeper...ok lame ah!
One of the guy, Eirwan was nice enough to loan me his boots since I had none...it was nice,it felt good. Thanks wan and yah thanks adik too,if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't get the chance to wear the boots.

CJ was super funny. The people at Sporting Westlake is super nice....it's like one big happy family. The girls are so cute.....................(sorry Faz but I'm still straight eh,teehehe!)

However, the sad thing is, the training session clashes with work. My top priority is of course,my career however I have no choice. With a heavy heart, I have to break the news to them...SOON!
I mean, come on, no in is indispensable in this world. There are plenty of great women players around so I guess my exit from the club (in time to come) would not make a difference BUT I will definitely miss the whole warm and cosy experience. Nobody judge you and they look out for one another. There is a lot of respect for one another in this team!If I can describe this team with one word, it has to be simplicity.

Sporting Westlake is the epitome of simplicity. They play simple with style. They are normal,ordinary simple people but with a heart of gold. They welcome everyone and no one feels redundant or obscure. I will definitely miss this wholesome experience,well done SWFC...

Anyway, I've tendered. It's time for me to move on to a greener pasture. I have my own set of problems which have yet to be solved but I guess it can be tackled.
Anyway, I have to get back to laundry and lesson plan. I'm turning dark,eh no...more like tanned but dark seh. I hate it and on top of that, I have burnt cheeks. Burnt red cheeks on dark,tanned,burnt skin.....yikes, I'm roasted!

For now,farewell....hada' (Norwegian)

To Faz (Love you!!)

Existing simplicity...with him

2008-02-23T02:00:00.001-08:00

Once again, I believed this could have driven anyone up the wall...

I kept telling myself and a few others about how "life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act."

Blimey...........

I've always been a firm believer of that and I guess I reap the benefits. I met him,intentions were clear, we were just being random people trying to ease our boredom but it turned out to be something else,something unexpected!

At that point of time, I did not know how to react. Will I be waiting still? Was it just an infatuation?

Hmm...oh well,we're finally together and of course,baby steps. Life has given me a whole new perspective to look forward to.

Love you sayang....

my chakras

2008-02-08T22:34:00.000-08:00

Khai my part-time counsellor (lol!) said,

"You have to let go of your fear."

According to him, each part of our body is made up of different body chakras. I have yet to read up on that but one of the most prominent chakras is the stomach.That explains the "butterflies in my tummy!"

Anyway, I will read up more on chakras and unleash the fear in me.

I'm taking the next bold step in life....love.
I have not been a fan of it...not until now.

It's time I guess...baby steps!

Chinese New Year

2008-02-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

It's the holidays....5 days straight of holidays!

I've been looking forward to it but it's pretty unsettling to me because all of a sudden, I don't know what to do.

I've made my plans...trust me I did....but there's no follow through!
That's very sad.....

Oh well,I just spent the first few hours of my holidays idling around...what's next?

Hen's Party

2008-01-19T09:23:00.000-08:00

Am I lucky today?
Hmmm.....

Let me see.....hen's party!!

I had to kiss 8 girls...no..no...I am not a lesbo,I am perfectly female,straight. It was an obligation,lol!

It was the best hen's party ever but of course, I was not Mother hen,I was the chick....darn cheesy....lol!

Loads of exciting games planned for the bride-to-be but darn couldn't stay long.
There was an interesting game though which I remembered clearly, as I was playing it during my secondary school days but playing with a bunch of ladies is definitely gnarly as compared to the "hingus" years...LMAO

There were 13 questions altogether.I have to answer them at random without knowing its true intention or meaning. The leader posed the questions innocently (my heart sank when she finally revealed the truth)

Before the truth,
1) Name a place: Marina City Park
2)Favourite colour: Green
3)Number from 1-20: 10
4)Name a country: Dubai
5)Name a size: large

Caution: NC 16,do not proceed if u do not adhere to this rule but heck,kids nowadays are way too smart eh!

6)Number from 1-50: 25
7)Name any wild animal: Cheetah
8)Number from 1-10: 8
9)Name a cartoon character: Johnny Bravo
10)One insulting name: "F**ker" (yikes,I feel so wrong writing it down but I did it anyway,yikes!)
11)Name a vegetable: Broccoli
12)Name any tv shows: Grey's Anatomy
13) Emotions: Excited

Here it goes,the aftermath (Scroll up for references)

1) I'll meet my future husband at Marina City Park
2)His hair colour will be green.
3)His height: 10 feet tall (goodness how many platforms do I have to wear)
4)My future husband will be from Dubai (yowza...yowza...yowza....)
5)The size of his bum:Large (LMAO!)
6)This is too crude...er he's a size 25...er.....think out of the box people,I'm too shy to elaborate on this!)
7) In bed, he will be a cheetah. (Goodness.....)
8)The number of children we will have: 8
9)His name will be Johnny Bravo (haha...cute!)
10)His pet name will be, "F**ker" (LMAO, Poor him!)
11)We will be living in a house of broccoli(s)
12)We will work hard and play hard based on Grey's Anatomy (hmmm..nice?)
13)As we grow old, our emotions together will always remain :Excited...lol

confirmed deal!

2008-01-18T23:11:00.000-08:00

Current readings: A thousand splendid sun by Khaled Hosseini
"I'm loving every page....it will be one,slow interesting read!"

I am supposed to mop the house right now and complete a few other chores but here I am...

I am finally confirmed. Getting the transcripts today was woooo.......gnarly.
It was better than expected. Loads of As, a few Bs and 2 Cs

Finally with the certificate in my hand, it's time for me to move on.

Next destination: Undecided
I'm torn between "UniSA" and "Wheelock College."

Next:
Hen's party at Potong Pasir
This will be the second hen's party in my whole entire life. LMAO....

12 days only?

2008-01-11T19:41:00.000-08:00

I love my kids....

12 days and counting......

The year has been good so far. It's not really mad and hectic like before but there are still plenty of things which does require a little bit of attention and improvements.Say... I did not make any resolutions this year. I don't always stick to it. So I figured why bother?

But,
I've changed my mind a week later. I have to try to shoot off from work on time, meaning 3.15pm sharp (4 days a week). One of the days will be spent to complete all my work and besides, in the contract, it only requires me to stay an additional 2 hours every week. Why the "fook" am I staying up so late till 5 plus in the afternoon each week when my working hours stops at 3.15pm everyday....goodness....LMAO

Anyway, January is a brand new term for everyone so loads of new children. We are all trying our Very best to settle the children down, "clear off" any signs of "separation anxiety attack"(lol!) and paperwork!

I have no problems with my class though. Back then, it was a rollercoaster ride for me. I had 15 in all and it's like a madhouse at times but the effort paid off when you see your children learning and giving their best when they are promoted to the next level. It gives me a truckloads of satisfaction...trust me. It's like seeing your own children growing up (even though I don't have one!)

I'm really blessed! You go like, "hey, I taught that kid before and he's so big now!"
Or when you have the teachers coming up to you and saying that, "hey he knows his stuff, you taught him before?" A word of thanks is all that's enough to make me a happy person.
I try to remain grounded, that's the most important essence in life. ..be noble, be wise, be modest, be humble....you have to stay grounded at times!

Oh well, counting down to Chinese New Year (not that I celebrate CNY)
5 DAYS OF LONGGGGGG HOLIDAYS during the CNY period. I have to get out of Singapore....have to get plenty of fresh air....say Cameron Highlands. LMAO...sounds boring but the air is fresh up there...I figured I need one.

Photographs that could change the world

2008-01-05T06:20:00.000-08:00

A picture speaks a thousand words

Vulnerability

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

To all my fellow netizen,

Happy New Year

2008

The figure 8!

"8" brings luck so hopefully this year is a lucky year for me..hur hur...

However,

sadly to sad, I did something which shouldn't be done. Guilty conscience!

It's between me and Him....I shall redeem myself soon....cleansing period.....

I know I shouldn't have done it but sometimes in life, you have to take risk.

I admit, this is really absurd and pretty much unconventional but hey..it does not go against any social norms (not that I know of!) I tried to be a lover, not a fighter but sometimes I had to take the route that hurts people...sorry!

So....Kula shaker shambles

Work starts tomorrow...I'm dreading this period....

Come on, this is my passion. This is my choice and this is my path, I chose it so please stop complaining....it's 2008!

By the way, I've been hearing stuff about my workplace, it's pretty disturbing and obnoxious to a significant extent...the things people do. Oh well, my prayers still goes out to everyone. Despite the fact that I might have hurt anyone along the way, forgive me! I'll always pray for your success as well!

Alright children..........lesson time!!

Happy New Year...2008!

Fashion mags

2007-12-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

I'm not a fashionista....trust me, I'm a wuss when it comes to fashion. So much for making a fashion statement say...."haute couture" I knew nuts about it.

Anyway,my brother caught me red-handed when I absent-mindedly walked into a bookstore and bought myself "Seventeen" magazine. Can you imagine me.....of all people reading "Seventeen" in public and yes...I read it in public.

No offence to the magazine though,the stuff in there is pretty good. I don't follow up with the fashion tips though, like what the normal locals might said, "she cannot make it one....wah piang eh!"

This month issue has been rather enlightening. I guess it must have been the countdown to the new year. They were giving truck loads of advice for those suffering from depression,low self-esteem and confidence and many other depressing statement that one could think of. I think it was a GREAT issue,thumbs up to them!

I guess, it has been a daunting moment for me, yet it was all worth it.

I have another problem though? How am I to tell the guy whom I do not have feelings for anymore without hurting his feelings? Oh bother...this sounds like yet another "Dear Kelly" services which you've often seen in magazines.I do not want to sound like an old hag or a better word to express my grievances would be "loser." Fair enough?

I believe totally in platonic relationship and I doubt he knows what it means either. It's really hard and it's really a tormentous moment for me. Will I change my number? I am being so mean and that is not me at all.

Geez.........

So much for being random, this is oh-so-not-random-lah makcik!

Three-fold utopian dream

2007-12-29T22:59:00.000-08:00

Now...now...I am not a firm believer of astrology or tarot cards for that matter. Ooopps..truth be told, sometimes I ended up "indulging" and delving deeper into it.

For today,December 30th 2007

"If no one is doing what you asked them to do, perhaps it's time for you to go back over your instructions. What's obvious to you looks like pure genius to someone else. You have a different way of looking at certain situations, and this is a great skill. Always keep an eye out for the silver lining. "

I miss you!

2007-12-29T04:21:00.000-08:00

I miss you ,my little cheeky darling...really miss you!

To each his own

2007-12-29T04:10:00.001-08:00

You reap what you sow

Now..now....change is inevitable. So much for being in an oppressive environment,
new changes, new people, new ME......hmmm...I'm afraid not. I guess I will still be the same old me,still dodgy and blur but major upgrading still in discussion. Pending......

Oh well, 2007 has been an "OK-LAH" year for me. Excuse my diction.....

Anyway, some guy wrote this to me from myspace, I suppose it's a forwarded message. Oh well,
to all my friends, aquaintance, family members,neighbours, rivals (do I have any?), lovers, flings (????), crushes and anyone at random......

" Do you want to move forward? Acknowledge where you are at the present time. Feel the fear, feel the discomfort of leaving your comfort zone, and embrace the change anyway! New experiences and people are waiting to greet you! The rewards will be great and you will be an inspiration to others."

Wishing you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The problem with being a Libra sometimes.......

2007-12-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

I made someone cry.

I made him cry.

I've made a cuckold out of someone but I did not mean to!

I believe it was partly my fault too!
I guess I was too soft (what...am I?)

Oh well,
to have someone professing his love for you is something new to me!
I guess, I was not thinking straight when I said "Yes!"
Impulsivity...shucks!

But hey, life goes on!
Sorry...sorry...sorry......

I may appear as a wuss if I do this but I'm going to do it anyway (lol!)
Posting some melodramatic lyric is oh so not gnarly...who cares anyway!

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching us fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Coz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Why I can't explain
why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises;
I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone
(This whole stanza is very significant and pretty much sums up how I felt when I was with errr...him. Sorry once again to you!)

Hmmm....I figured, that's the problem with being a libra sometimes. Oh bother....

Fickle-minded

2007-12-25T08:30:00.000-08:00

Men are created for women...true?

Hmm....

I think I'm not cut out for it.
I get too bored easily!
There is always a certain difference .
Sound meet sound, the echoes they surround..oh well this time it's just not connected.
I realize that things which were invisible seems concrete now and it's getting too complicated.

He said,"don't you think we're compatible for one another?"(Oh...I can imagine the look in his eyes, the excitement...was I excited...not really!)

That was before,when things were quite murky and abstract.

Until.......

Geez, we have loads of things.............NOT IN COMMON!

Opposites attract, hmmm..not in my case.

Call me fickle, call me demanding but hey......a life is at stake.

I don't feel stoke at all.....what a bummer!

I told him," I guess I was just being naive!"

He did not understand what it exactly means.

I'm so DEAD! The worst thing has got to be the part where I thought he knew what I was talking about but he did not. He was just too...say...shallow?
That's too mean..I know..oh well,you think of a word for me.
Yes,conversation is really important but of course, there should be depth. Well, a little fun brings no harm but I'm very particular about "intellectually-driven" topics. I admit, I can be such a total retard at times. Yes, grammatical errors is inevitable but hey...you're not stimulating me enough.

Hmmmm..then again, we're talking about self-respect and once again my friend, embracing imperfections. But say, if you're able to change the course of nature for the betterment of...say yourself,why not!Why remain reclusive and yearn for the world to revolve only between 2 people?

That's just not me at all. I was muttering a prayer to God today.I'm kinda "chatting" with him as I was watching tv. I guess my prayers were answered. He did not call me today. Maybe this is what I wanted...is this what I wanted?I don't know!

Potential candidates:
* Intellectually driven
*Witty and highly lame
*Affectionate but less jiwang
*Gutsy
Soprts fanatic is a surplus.

If life is full of Ketchups and soya sauce(s)

2007-12-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

It's been good!

If life is full of Ketchups and soya sauce, there'll be more char kway teow?
Alright...I admit,I'm hungry!

Here comes the whirling sensation again!

What does trust means in LOVE?

What does it mean when a guy gives you a peck on the cheek?

What does it mean when you started feeling goosebumps the moment a guy touches your back briefly?

What does it mean when a guy put his hands around your hips?

What does it mean when you naturally put your hands behind his back for a brief moment?

What does it mean when he tells you that he cares about you?

What does it mean when he said, if you keep this up, I'll fall for you?

What does it all mean eh?

Does it mean that I'm caught up with Love?

Dilemma

2007-12-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

What happens when you are forced to choose between two?

Risk getting hurt alone?Hmmm....I don't mind!

Hurting 2 people at the same time......"O, bloordy murder"

Kiling 2 birds with 1 stone....no big joke!

Risk getting caught........affirmative...darn!

God, help me!

Embracing.....

2007-12-17T09:28:00.000-08:00

Today,

as we walked side by side,
I muttered a prayer to God (Allah swt)

"If he's the one, give me a sign.."

The aftermath of a depressing event led me to Him.
I realize I was forgetting all about Him.
I was ashamed of myself.
I gather my thoughts, hoping to have a private moment with Him soon.
He allows for things to happen and the reason as to why it happened to me can only mean one thing....I was drifting further away from Him.

He creates and He can also takes it away from me. It's only right that I get myself closer to him. I realized I've become distant from him,that explains all the tumultous and unexplainable troils and troubles...please forgive me.

I'm putting myself back on track,slowly and I'm constantly asking him for signs.

Today as I walk side by side, I asked Him, "If he's the one, give me a sign! Give me the strength to embrace thy imperfections."

When night came, we got closer but I still need His advice...for now!

Amin

A breath of fresh air

2007-12-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

As much as I want to avoid penning down thoughts or my-so-called-drama stories here in this blog, it seems irresistable to do so.

Probably, I need the desperate urge to tell someone about it. Oh well, I am content with this.

Let's see....

2008
-Resolution will never be the same as the ones I made in 2007...affirmative.
It's time I break the mundane tradition.

Life has always been about opportunity cost, I've always felt that way. "Opportunity cost" was just a generic term I love to use whenever I do something and boy... I'm glad I took Economics. Well, I barely pass the paper but I got an A level pass for it (just to make myself feel better...yikes!)

I figured, if I were to spend my time doing my lesson plans for year 2008, that will be major danger for me. Why? The opportunity cost of me sticking my butt to the chair and completing my lesson plans, only to risk myself of all the distraction coming along IS cleaning my room.

6pm
Room destruction, room makeover

Ends at 4am

I can't believe I did it but I think I did. It's looking more spacious than ever (yipppeee!) and it gives me more reason to stop by IKEA to shop for erm...new furniture. Impulse bargains...hmmm.....I don't know!

On the bright side, "bonus" coming...yipppeee........

Suddenly I feel like a newly-wed. Only difference is, I have an imaginary husband (LOL!)

A living pantomime

2007-12-06T07:12:00.000-08:00

Why do I succumb to defeat?
Why do I succumb to failure?
Why do I succumb to conquer?

If I stoop, could I have conquer?
If I stood, could I have conquer?

What could have happen if I look down?
What could have happen if I look straight ahead?

Should I...should I....should I?

P/s: It's such a wonderful feeling to have someone coaxing you and talking to you with so much of passion, tone of endearment. It is....only if it comes from a child, tabula rasa!

Sean...you made my day...you really touched my heart! Were those tears for me...awww....so sweet!

My darling, handsome Sean....my little red tomato!

Making sense

2007-11-30T23:15:00.000-08:00

It was supposed to be a joyous occassion which turned sour....

All because of "cents"

Fark....."cents" makes no perfect sense at all.

Am I making sense?

Boo...

2007-11-17T09:36:00.000-08:00

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again!

One life...live it!

Why did I move?

2007-11-17T09:23:00.000-08:00

Bukit Batok, from a tiny "seed" you grew into an avalanche of maize,
to a land you grew with spacious corn cobs.
(Why am I talking about food...digress!)

Tanglin Halt, Blk 54
Soldier of fortune, a land of goals and misses....ahhhh...EVERGREEN!

Jurong West, Ave 1,Blk 486
White tiles, midnight tip-toeing to the Koala chocolate bar (darn..I can't help it!)
The air-con landed itself with a great thud,on top of me.
Home alone was the norm and choking on 50 cent coin made me reflect on the frugality of life...at age 9.
oH...THE KFC...it's dead!

Jurong West, St 42,Blk 433
The field spreads with malicious delight!

Choa Chu Kang
The Kranji camp,bus 302

If it's yours, call me.I want to ride with you...yoohoooo...hur hur.....(lol!)

Tabula rasa

2007-11-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

Tabula rasa

Born into this world with no innate mental content
Waiting to be heard and trace with every bit of content from sensorial experiences.
Abstract seems secondary, nothing in this world it seems,
the frugality of life,a sudden impetus to you and me.

For all the sacrifices I made.....it was all worth it. Materials becomes secondary but an added boost from it clears you off.....I'm deranged no more! (hur..hur....)

You are loved, Ms Ezan!
Love you my "tabula rasa!"

Pressing for time

2007-11-17T08:22:00.000-08:00

Pressing for time...........

No increase in the ability of mankind to communicate has ever resulted in a loss of liberty.

He became a policeman, I suppose and I became a teacher..affirmative!

Just follow lor

2007-11-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

Random clicking...
Channel 1
Channel 2
Channel 3...ooooohhh...interesting
Channel 4...sappy love drama...hai
Channel 5.........dei....

Back to Channel 2.....News 5 tonight

Backtrack...stop...peep...stand....

"If we read the Economist, many have quoted how Singapore have kept abreast with changes and we have come a long way to tackle the income gap (oh really?) Sometimes it is "ok lah to be kiasu" because if "you ya-ya",you'll be at a losing point!"

Ecod

Viewer's discretion: Please be advised that it's all in reported speech....a bad one indeed but it's somewhere along the line. Tune in to online news for exact updates but I'll assure you that the word, "kiasu and ya-ya" is confirmed...AFFIRMATIVE!

Aside,away I say

Peace out,homie!

Strike in KL- MALAYSIA-ELECTION RALLY. Police fire tear gas, water cannon at protesters.

Pedra Branca

What's up with Benazir Bhutto and Pervez Musharraf?

South Pole is melting?

Indian farmers unhappy with foreign takings?

Myanmar,"Detained democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi :Democratic reforms demanded by the international community.

Choa Chu Kang headline news:

Residents utterly upset with the massive outbreak of "cow-dung" poo (fertilizers).....which resident,you're staring at one right now!

Ordinances to "kaprak motorcyclist" who made my heart boil and how many thousand decibels affected...noise pollution dude! The culprit is still at large but main suspect: The chipmunkz hormone gang."

Evidence: Look up Friendster, the leader have spoken, he-who-shall-not-be-named claims Bukit Panjang and Choa Chu Kang residents will not have "peace".....with their WRX zooming past......wah liau weh!

E.T?

No, we're looking for "Alvin!" (clue:buck-tooth)

You noisy, pernicious pernikety punk!

Not random...it's a need!

2007-11-11T07:48:00.000-08:00

This is not random.
It's an obligation...strictly from the heart!

Thank you Ma for...
.....
.....
....

Hanging the clothes out for me!

Soliloquay(Mum): %@?:(*&^% (Who says it's all negative,I did not!Assumption's not good..not good my friends,muahahahaha!)

Random: Jumari,Farhan FaRogue,Sky and Ali

2007-11-10T21:44:00.000-08:00

I used to play the game with a friend.
Finishing off each other sentences at random (but of course one may never know who cheated on who. I did...ooops...taking about a minute or two to type something out.Hey that's not random...shhh..he doesn't knows!)

Anyway,let's start:

jj - Jughead, joker junkie,jester
Courtesy of Jumari (music encyclopedia,updates me on the 'unheard')
The football diary of Nick Saban (random search result)

9 days away from kickoff
The king of Bama is doing just fine until
Jester,Lester, Pumpkin boy and the Press
Are all dreaming,Bama is a mess.

Soccer
Next victim caught off-guard: Farhan Farook
Wassup - great match, goal scorer,shhh...away, bip test,Beckham and shower.
Courtesy of the rogue (pun intended,get it?) himself, met randomly on the net.Never know he was playing for S-League until I saw him score against Woodlands an Super Reds.Yikes....great dude...very laid-back. I did not know it was him until i asked him at random,"hey...you're soccer player right?Boy....I was not wrong about that!

Boy, you love to run
you love the test
You failed once, you take the rest
Oh,you're prone to flashing (wait a minute, I'm not done yet!)
Which is nice to see
Hence we know, that you expose
Well, when it comes to photography.
(What were you thinking dude?)

Sky- met randomly on the net,never know his name!
Courtesy of tagged - huh? Boleh?
Very the malay!

Nevertheless,random clicking pave its way.
Ode to the man who kneels to the sky
Off bleak and droll and strangely enough,
images of cowboys and the women who hurt them

A lyrical monologue that surpasses blurry past, present and the future
Primal screams of solitary confinement into which those words dissolve.

Ali-G
Courtesy of Ali Akhbar
? - Ezan was my classmate back in JI(jurong institute)

Sepak takraw
One thing that came into my mind when the word JI,03A1 pops out: Sepak takraw
Funny, it should have been hockey eh?

I'm a nut and so are you!
I'm a streetlight!
Opportunity cost and Jude the Obscure
Pak Sanggup and his holy moronic karate kick.
There I was kicking with my Madeline's skirt,
"Baik dok...kick it like this!"

The Tornados team did get a win against the local Khalsa side with Ali Akhbar meeting the goal after a superb run down the right flank and unleashing an unstoppable shot. <http://www.tornadoshockey.org.sg/news.html

(I can see Ali....)

At random,

Ezan

Pssttt...portfolio?Game bo?

Memoirs Part 7

2007-11-10T06:16:00.000-08:00

Sunday, July 15, 2007 - Poseidon

A deep, sinking feeling
You begin to wonder.
The unfathomable seems hard to resist at times,
The unmistakable feeling, you ponder for a second, a minute, an hour, for eternity

Walking through many loopholes
You see the impossibilities of life
Through many potholes you've passed,
Never once did you realise that each hole has a story!

A subject matter yet to be found, to be seen
The unseen seems blurry, yet mystic
One could only wonder the many possiblities that could happen,
I did (subconsciously), have you?

Monday, July 16, 2007 - Oxymoron
What is the unknown, the unseen?
We are always caught in a swirling whirpool.
We are constantly caught in a conspiracy.

We've always been under the pretence,
I say," Who will watch the watchdog?"
Such contradiction...

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen", William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act 1, Scene iii

The problem is that reason, as we've come to know it, doesn't run the universe.

Memoirs Part 6

2007-11-10T04:40:00.000-08:00

22 Dec 2006

Tranquility Current mood: mellow

Life....a period of confinement.
Such serenity and peace is priceless to the inner soul.
Living in isolation may sound reclusive but it's worth the bargain.

Close my eyes, take a moment
As I feel the soft, alluring touch of the wind as it slowly caress my
body, my face, my soul,
Whispers of joy, "come with me, walk with me..."
Heavenly Jerusalem, Christminster,
There was always a wall between us, like Jude,
Like Sue Bridehead, the sexless creature.
I sat down and cried.........

Memoirs Part 5

2007-11-10T04:36:00.000-08:00

How do you think out of the box when you don't even know what is in the box?
Utter gibberish,bull-spanking shit!

"Sweeettttaaaaa......"

Life is like a delicacy, derived from polar bear's toenails

and droppings from penguins, served with a slurpee on top!

Thursday, September 6, 2007 - Life as it is

We shed light upon those who needed it the most
Our constant empathy to many who have suffered beyond
Life is full of uncertainties,it's like a race,like a bicycle to me
As you wheel through the crowd,on the roadside,
you met many cyclists.
Many of whom have cycled from different walks of life
There is always a mixture of emotions, welling up inside,
In each and everyone of us.
One view it as a journey and take life as it is,
some view it as a competition,along the road,you'll meet with some accidents.
It's inevitable,why do things happen the way we did not expect them to be?

The life of every human being is, at some point, touched by tragedy.
It appears without warning and brings with it permanent disability.
Life is a constant risk, and anyone who forgets this will be unprepared for the challenges that fate have in store.
When faced by a great loss, be it material, spiritual, we need to remember the great lessons taught to us by the wise, patience, and the certainty that everything in life is temporary.
Why do we let all the pain and suffering escalate and not do something about it? (easy for us to say that!)
Why not take advantage of the sudden change, and spend our days doing the things we have always wanted to do.
Breathe,inhale,exhale...take a moment, reflect...

Memoirs Part 4

2007-11-10T04:34:00.000-08:00

The Cloud and the Sand dune

'As everyone knows, the life of a cloud is very busy and very short,' writes Bruno Ferrero. And here's a related story.
A young cloud was born in the midst of a great storm over the Mediterranean Sea, but he did not even have time to grow up there, for a strong wind pushed all the clouds over towards Africa.

As soon as the clouds reached the continent, the climate changed. A bright sun was shining, in the sky and, stretched out beneath them, lay the golden sands of Sahara.Since it almost never rains in the desert, the wind continued pushing the clouds towards the forests in the south.

Meanwhile, as happens with young humans too, the young cloud decided to leave his parents and his older friends in order to discover the world.

"What are you doing?" cried the wind. 'The desert's the same all over. Rejoin the other clouds, and we'll go to Central Africa where there are amazing mountains and trees!'
But the young cloud, a natural rebel, refused to obey, and gradually, he dropped down until he found a gentle, generous breeze that allowed him to hover over the golden sands. After much toing and froing, he noticed that one of the dunes was smiling at him.

He saw that the dune was also young, newly formed by the wind that had just passed over. He fell in love with her golden hair right there and then.
"Good morning", he said. "What's life like down there?"

"I have the company of the other dunes, of the sun and the wind, and of the caravans that occasionally pass through here. Sometimes, it's really hot, but it's still bearable. What's life like up there?

"We have the sun and wind too, but the good thing is that I can travel across the sky and see more things.'

"For me", said the dune,"life is short. When the wind returns from the forests, I will disappear."

"And does that make you sad?", said the cloud.

"It makes me feel that I have no purpose in life", said the dune.

"I feel the same. As soon as another wind comes along, I'll go south and be transformed into rain, but that is my destiny", said the cloud.

The dune hesitated for a moment, then said:
"Did you know that here in the desert, we call the rain paradise?"

" I have no idea I could ever be that important", said the cloud proudly.

"I've heard other older dunes tell stories about the rain. They say that, after the rain, we are all covered with grass and flowers. But I'll never experience that, because in the desert it rains so rarely,"said the dune.

It was the cloud's turn to hesitate now. The he smiled broadly and said:
"If you like, I could rain on you now. I know I've only just got here, but I love you, and I'd like to stay here forever."

"When I first saw you up on the sky, I fell in love with you too", said the dune. "But if you transform your lovely white hair into rain, you will die."

"Love never dies", said the cloud. "It is transformed and besides, I want to show you what paradise is like."
And he began to caress the dune with little drops of rain, so that they could stay together for longer, until a rainbow appeared.

The following day, the little dune was covered in flowers. Other clouds that passed over, heading for Africa, thought that it must be part of the forest they were looking for and scattered more rain. Twenty years later, the dune hs been transformed into an oasis that refreshed travellers with the shade of its trees.

And all because, one day,a cloud fell in love, and was not afraid to give his life for that love.

Adapted from, "Like the flowing River by Paulo Coelho"

Memoirs Part 3

2007-11-10T04:32:00.000-08:00

The Umbrella

Under the tandem umbrella,
She stoops to conquer
What's the immaterial substance that envelopes 2?
To what extent should one stoop to conquer?
Amidst the abyss, the narcissist, the great wall
Under the tandem umbrella,
I stoop and failed.......it's just another dream!

Memoirs Part 2

2007-11-10T04:28:00.000-08:00

I'm a rocker....on hold

Thursday, August 9, 2007 - Post-rock gives me time to hibernate

Being wholly wrapped in pure, unadulterated guitar noise is a wonderful thing. The music consumes you with unbounded emotions. Even without any verbal articulation, it speaks volumes. With deafening effect, it whispers into your ear tragic tales of broken hearts, near-death experiences and existential catastrophes. As you close your eyes and tilt your head upwards, it cleanses you with hope; makes you feel alive. It lifts you up, off the ground.

This is what post-rock does to you. Or at least, what it should do. Perhaps this is why our local independent music scene is saturated with post-rock bands. I am afterall a passionate true rocker (Lol!)

History
Thursday, August 16, 2007 - Cloud 9

He-who-cannot-be-name called me today,erm.....1 hour ago.

I'm in Cloud 9! (LOL!)

You're finding some way to stumble along again
We wonder why, why ever you've gone
Remembering two who had something special then
Just for today
there'll be only one

Memoirs Part 1

2007-11-10T04:11:00.000-08:00

Sunday, July 22, 2007 - Taking the road less travelled

Life is full of choices,risk,moments,anticipation...what else?

It's just a matter for the right moment to act. Did I get that right?
It's also a matter of taking the road less travelled by others...justified?

You see, we are often trapped in such situations,certain crossroad that gives us mind-boggling decisions to make.
I would love to take the road less travelled by others but what are the possibilities of success,what's the probability?

This brings us to the point where we need to sit down and reflect (yeah another round of pure bullshit!)
But seriously...we need to!

So much for directing it to others (as you can see, I'm speaking mostly based on general terms: see... another concrete evidence of insecurity,stop it now will ya?)

The onus is on me to make it right and that would mean taking the road less travelled by others. I'm sure I'll survive (insyallah, with God's Grace)

Perharps I should change my perception about life.Life has always been about "opportunity cost",it's true!Reflect.....actions...follow through....

Saturday, July 21, 2007 - why do they always come and go?
When the eye meets the eye,
Sparks flew
Covalent bonding is just a mere perfection (covalent bonding...wtf..lol)

Perfect evening often come to a stagnant stage
Sweet-nothings and coo-coooing over long,overhaul smses suddenly becomes too blunt,
Overthrow such perfections...embrace imperfections...don't meet!

Archery and me

2007-11-09T23:50:00.000-08:00

We are often in 2 different world
There is nothing much I can do except to discover the main course of such imprecision.

I discovered the problem because my body was feeling older and less elegant. So I change my posture, stretch my spine, face the world with an open chest (no pun intended). When I think about my body, I am also thinking about my soul, and one will help the other.

The underlying statement...who?

With much love,

Prague in Yew Tee

2007-11-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

That simple desire to share something meant that we could enter the world of language without words, where everything is always clear, and there is no danger of being misinterpreted!

Like the flowing River....

And I adore moi who-cannot-be-name

Ecod

Indoor play

2007-11-09T23:39:00.000-08:00

Howard Gardner Multiple Intelligence

Pretend Play.....a budding artist in the making......

Shirley Whirley

2007-11-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

Shirley Temple blooms
Ginger ale and 7-ups, a bottle of Perrier or two
Bourbon coke, make it a miss
A sudden influx of cherry ade
Super swing makes it a treat.

Written tales of loops and holes

Chipmunk

2007-11-09T23:18:00.000-08:00

Dearest chipmunk,
You are the epitome of simplicity not simpleton.
I adore you chipmunk!

Bah...........

Puma

2007-11-09T23:13:00.000-08:00

Picture courtesy of Mirza
Edited by Ezan

Square, pallid and pale,

He prays

The warmth, the bright neon lights, his illusion,

Donny Marko came to town

Puma

Memory

2007-11-09T23:09:00.000-08:00

Silent winds in a troubled mind

Whispers of joy in times of melancholy

Broken smile in the tainted heart of spring

Breathless sighs on a midsummer night

Butterflies in a bottled mind.

Falling blossom and winter tears,

Weeping in happiness,

Requiem of a memory.

Random

2007-11-09T22:45:00.000-08:00

Random searching,random clicking,random you-tube-ing,
random thoughts....

Who adores doing things at random?

In a world force-fed with endless thoughts of perfection,
Shine your way through with gusto...be random,be wise,be still

Ecod